Are the siblings sane? Well, that is a very good question that needs to be determined. Just because your SO seems sane doesn’t mean that the rest of the family is sane. (Think Adams Family) And, if the rest of the family is “nuts”, that means you have a whole lot of extra baggage to deal with.
Monthly Archives: January 2012
Manscaping; Dates Gone Bad!
I once dated a woman who was concerned about body hair. Even though it was our first date, she wanted to clear the air up front.
So she asked me if I had a lot of body hair. I told her that I didn’t. She was relieved because she didn’t like men with a lot of body hair.
Well OK then. Since I didn’t have much body hair, it sounded like we were a match made in heaven. I didn’t ask her out again.
Families and Other Baggage; Older Sisters.
It is a toss up between mothers and older sisters. Both pose a formidable challenge. While mom can be dismissed as old and out of touch, older sisters are a different matter.
The older sisters brings a wealth of pseudo wisdom and current experience into the relationship. And, while the sisters may be total idiots, they are sisters, none the less, and have voting rights, so to speak.
Beware of the older sisters.
Families and Other Baggage; The Mothers.
If her mother is still alive, then, you have another force to contend with. In short, not only do have to please your girl friend, you also have to please her mother. And, it is not one or the other, it is both. That’s right, both. So, be careful!!
Families and Other Baggage; Are The Parents Healthy?
Are her parents healthy? This is always a good question because if you are 60 and dating, her parents are going to be 80ish. Which means that the health of her parents is going to be failing soon if it hasn’t already.
And since she is a daughter, she will feel the need to support her parents. This is only natural. But, understand, this is a package deal so don’t expect contrary behavior on her part. She will need to do what she needs to do.
Enough said.
Families and Other Baggage; Are Mom and Dad Still Married?
Well, one of the first things that you need to determine is whether the parents of your “significant other” (SO) are happily married. This is important because it will tell you about the family values that your SO grew up with.
Did her parents resolve conflicts or did they just walk away? It they stayed together and resolved conflicts, this is good because she saw her parents commitment to the marriage. But, if they just walked away, then she doesn’t have a role model for resolving conflicts. Which means, when the going gets rough, she may decide to leave rather then stay and work things out.
FWIW.
Families and Other Baggage; The Intro.
Unless your significant other is an orphan with no kids, you are going to have baggage. There will be ex-spouses, children, spouses of children, children of children, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
This is known as a family. And, like it or not, it is a package deal. They come with your significant other. So, you need to be prepared for what ever lies ahead, like it or not.
How Are Your Teeth?
Another area of concern is dental care. If your date has “pearly white” teeth, chances are good that they are taking good care of their teeth. But, if your dates teeth are a little off color, that might not be the case. So, I often broach the topic of dental care.
For starters, I mention that I get my teeth whitened locally and it only costs me $200.00 initially and only $30 every 6 months. If they are interested, great! But, if they announce that they hate dentists, then you may have a problem on your hands.
In a similar manor, I may mention that I have 5 crowns and absolutely love them. If they volunteer information about their own dental work, great, at least you will know. But, if they don’t, beware! There may be major dental work waiting on the horizon
How Are Your Finances?
One of the major issues that needs to be reviewed is personal finances. It can be a major shock to discover that your new bride is thousands of dollars in debt. But, it can also be tricky to determine their debt load.
Now, if you ask them outright, they will tell you that their finances are just fine. No one is going to admit that their finances are out of control. So, the best that you can do is to listen to what they say and how they react.
For instance, one woman told me that she liked using a certain credit card because it gave her cash back. And this is fine. But, when she then stated that at the end of the month she rolls the balance over on to another card, this should be a warning that things are not good.
I often will make the statement that I am debt free. If they respond that they are also debt free, this might be a good sign. But, if they say that I am luck, or if they do not comment at all, this may be an indications of debt. So, beware.
Unfortuantely, you won’t really know about their financial stability until after you are married. Caveat Emptor.
Psycho Date.
Well, I have dated quite a few women over the last year. And, for the most part, the women have all had a pleasant disposition. However, I recently dated a woman who was, well, an “in your face” type of gal.
It started when we first sat down in the restaurant. Wanting to make her feel comfortable, I told her to order anything that she wanted. To which she accused me of trying to gain sexual favors in exchange for a meal. After trying to reassure her that there were no strings attached to the meal, she announced that “all men are pigs”. Well OK.
After the meal, I thought that I could just drop her off and say “Good night”. But no. The night was young and she wanted to go some place. So I took her to a lounge that I knew about in the area. That is when she got “in my face” about whether I can fix PCs. This was followed by an “in my face” about whether I wanted to call her at home.
Finally, we called it a night. I dropped her off at her car and she thanked me for the evening.
I was relieved that the night had finally ended. If she was “in my face” this early on in a relationship, what would a life time be like?