Every time that I get a new match on a dating web site, I always have optimistic expectations.  Yes, she is good looking, yes, we share similar interests, yes, yes, yes!  And each time, I think that this might be the one.  But, each time, I end up disappointed.   But, maybe the next time.  I can’t give up hope.

I am truly amazed at the lies that people will make on dating websites.  On many occasions, I have looked at a photo of a women who claims to be 52 when she actually looks to be 72.  If she is 52, then she has had a very hard life.  And, if she really is 72, does she really think that she looks 52?  Hello!

I am always amazed at the website names that some women choose for themselves.  Does 2fat4u really want you to think of her in that light?  And Poodlelady must like her poodles.

Maybe they think that these names are cute.  Who knows?  They certainly give me bad impressions.

One of the hardest issues that I have had to face while dating is mixed signals.  I have dated women who seemed to enjoy being with me and then dump me the next day.  Likewise, I have dated women who seemed to be bored out of their minds but tell me the next day that they really enjoyed being with me.

I have neither answer nor explanation.  All I can say is to roll with it and don’t take anything at face value.

Dating someone new around the holidays always presents a dilemma.  Or more to the point, who gets gifts?

Well, it is always a good idea to buy your date a gift at Christmas.  Even if you have just started dating.  There is nothing more embarrassing than your date of two weeks presenting you with a present and you have nothing to give in return.

So, always have something like earrings in your pocket.  If you never give them to her, at least you were prepared.

A woman, that I know, once told me that we couldn’t date because I lived too far away.  After all, she lived in Detroit and I lived in Grand Rapids.  Plus, she said that her church suggest that she wait a couple years before she started dating again.

Well, OK, that sounds reasonable.  But then, two months later, I find out that she started dating a married man in Chicago!

I assumed that he must have money.  That seems to be the universal “wild card” for all problems.

“I hate cats!”  That is how one  woman started her email to me.  Well, I am a cat lover but I can’t say that I hate any animal.   I am basically an animal lover.  So, when some one tells me that they hate cats, I am thinking that this person is very ridged and controlling.

I decided to pass on her.

I recently received an email from a woman who was either drunk or a very poor writer.  And, I really think that she was drunk.

Her email was disjointed and at times made no sense at all. Either way, I decided to let this one pass.

The other day, one of my dating web sites matched me with a woman from west Michigan.  Since she was close and seemed interesting, I thought that I would send her an email expressing my interest.

But, before I started to write, I checked her profile for points of commonality.  Well, her profile was one long whiny tirade about how men always view her profile but never bother to check her out in person.

Despite her “whine”, I decided to write to her anyway.  After all, I was some what interested in her.  And, I wanted to prove her wrong.

But, then I got to thinking, What if I take her out and I don’t like her.  Will she be worse off than if I hadn’t taken her out?  I mean would I be building false expectations?  And, since she had provided very little information about herself, I was having a hard time deciding if we had any commonality.

I finally decided that her “sour attitude” would probably carry over into any relationship and may have been the reason for her divorce in the first place.

I passed on writing her because I didn’t want to feel guilty should I decide that she is not the one for me.

I would suggest that the first thing that you need to do is to make a list of traits that are “non-negotiable.  These are your “musts and can’ts”.   For example, if you absolutely positively can’t stand someone who smokes, then smoking is a non-negotiable “can’t”.  Likewise, if you want your partner to share a particular interest with you such as church attendance, then this is a “must.”

These “musts” and “can’ts” are the show stoppers.  Without meeting these conditions, the relationship can’t go forward.

Make the list and then wait several days.  Then review it and see if you still agree with the list.  Once you have settled on the list, DON’T COMPROMISE.  After all, these traits made the list for a reason.  Don’t throw that reason out just because you met someone who does not comply with the list.