I would suggest that the first thing that you need to do is to make a list of traits that are “non-negotiable. These are your “musts and can’ts”. For example, if you absolutely positively can’t stand someone who smokes, then smoking is a non-negotiable “can’t”. Likewise, if you want your partner to share a particular interest with you such as church attendance, then this is a “must.”
These “musts” and “can’ts” are the show stoppers. Without meeting these conditions, the relationship can’t go forward.
Make the list and then wait several days. Then review it and see if you still agree with the list. Once you have settled on the list, DON’T COMPROMISE. After all, these traits made the list for a reason. Don’t throw that reason out just because you met someone who does not comply with the list.
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