About Beaufort

After Kathy, my wife of 37 years, passed away, I had to make a choice between being single for the next 20-30 years or finding a new wife. Since my first marriage was wonderful, I decided to try again.

Must Be House Broke.

“Must be house broke” is what one woman wrote for her dating requirements.    By that, she wants a man who will put the seat down when he is through using the toilet.  Well, at least she is not worried about whether the paper hangs next to the wall or away from the wall.

 

And Pictures Too!

Just when I thought that I had seen it all, I was proved wrong.  A new woman to one of my dating sites, had a user name that referred to her breasts.  And, just in case you had any doubts about the correlation between her user name and reality, she had pictures of her self in her bra and panties.

Well, OK!  I  guess it pays to advertise.

Hello, Goodbye.

Now that I am dating again, I am faced with the awkward problem of greeting women on our first date.

General etiquette dictates that a handshake is probably too formal, while a kiss is too personal.  And so, I go with a hug instead.  And, this seems to be well received.

But, of course, after the end of the first date, you need to at least give them a hug and probably a kiss, if you dare risk it.  Fortunately, after the hug, they will roll back into position for a kiss, if they want one,  so that will make things much simpler.

At the end of one first date, I gave her a hug.  And, as expected, she rolled back for a kiss.  So, I kissed her.  And that is when she stuck her tongue into my mouth.

She was hot to trot and I was fighting for my life.  Fortunately, we were in a public place so, I was safe.

Moral of the story, always take your first date to a public place with lots and lots of surveillance cameras.

Christian Mingle; Curious Not Serious.

I have been on Christian Mingle for almost 6 months.  My impression is that this site is for the curious and not the serious.

First of all, 80% of the members on this site never even bother to post a picture.  And, 25% of the emails that I send to members are never read.  But, the site is cheap to use.

Word of advice.  Find a site that is more expensive as those members tend to want the most for their money.

Flowers.

The women at work told me that all women like flowers.  Well, they don’t.

For some women, flowers are too smelly.  For others, flowers die too quickly.  And still others think that flowers are too clicheish.  So, be careful when it comes to flowers.

The Unfaithful Girl Friend.

Out in the world of dating, you will probably run into the unfaithful girl friend.

She will profess her undying love and faithfulness to you but announce that she is busy every time you ask her out.

What this really translates into is that she is seeing someone else.   But, just in case it doesn’t work out, she will reconsider you.

Run!! She is nothing more than cheap trash.!!!

Pinching and Other Forms of Affection.

I am the most eligible bachelor in the office these days.  So, all of the single women seem to give me extra attention.  Most of the time, they make special trips to my office just to say hello.  But, some times they do unexpected things.

The other day, I was standing in the hallway at work talking to my boss when a female co-worker of mine walked past and pinched my butt.  Now, while the woman is a friend of  mine and single, she has never expressed any interest in me other than that of a friend.  So, her actions took me by surprise.

My boss, of course, was shocked.  And so was I.  But, our shock quickly turned into laughter.

I doubt that there will be a repeat incident as I suspect that it was just a spontaneous act and not premeditated.  But, I guess time will tell.

I wonder if this means that we are engaged?

Gifts For Family Members.

Besides the question of gifts for your date, there is also the question of gifts for her family.  At some point in time in a relationship, you will be expected to acknowledge members of her family with gifts.  And, if you are lucky, she will give you advanced warning by asking for gift suggestions for you family.  And if she doesn’t, you could simply ask her about the holidays and what the plans are for them.  That way you at least have an idea of what to expect.

Shopping At Kohls.

I had a woman tell me that she doesn’t approve of men who shop at Kohls.  In her mind, men should be shopping a Macy’s instead.

Well OK.  Since I like Kohls, I guess we are not compatible.  But, more to the point; anyone who is that imagine conscience is too shallow for me.