I read a book the other day entitled “Why We Love” by Helen Fisher.  I was curious about this thing called chemistry.

The book was the result of a lot of scientific research.  These researchers interviewed subjects and analyzed body chemistry to determine what happens when we fall in love and why we behave the way that we do.

Their research concluded that there are 3 major phases to love;  Chemistry, Erotic and Bonding.  And, each of these phases naturally occur in a loving relationship.  I will write about each of these phases in the next few days.

One of the issues that I have had to deal with is children.  Or more to the point, do I want a woman who still has children at home?  My initial thought is “no.”

Now, it is not that I don’t like children.  I love children.   It is just that they complicate an already complicated situation.  Not only are you having to learn a new life partner, you are also having to address the daily issues that come with children.

And, I don’t know which is worse, older children or younger children.  Certainly younger children are going to garner more attention from your spouse than older children.  And, that is only natural.  But, older children are more likely to be hostile towards the newest member of the family.  Either way, you are viewed as an unwelcome outsider.

Unfortunately, this is not a rule, it is a norm.  So, it is conceivable that you could find a woman with children that will totally accept you as a part of their family. And, it could work out very well. The problem is, finding that accepting family.

And, while women with grown children are not exempt from problems, at least her children are living their life away from home.

But, the bottom line is that it is a tough call.

I have found that the online names reflect the views of a woman.  For example, a woman who uses the online name “knitsalot”  is probably a knitter while the woman who uses the on line name “lovesmypuppies” most likely has more than one dog.

So, if you love to fish then “fishergirl” is probably worth checking out.

A lot of the women that I date are “readers”.  And because of this, they want me to read their favorite books.   And to ensure that I do, they provide me with my own personal copy to read.

Well, I don’t have a whole lot of time for reading, but I give it a try.  Fortunately, if the relationship ends before I finish the book, I can just put it on my shelf if I choose.

My library is expanding!

There is a single woman that I know.  She is in her early 40s and is always glad to see me.  She gives me big hugs and kisses and seems genuinely concerned about my well being.  So, what’s the problem?   She has been married and divorced at least 5 times!!!

It seems to be a 5 year cycle.  First, there is the one year of dating, followed by the one year of wedded bliss, followed by the one year of hatred followed by the one year of divorce followed by the one year of recovery  She is presently in the recovery phase looking to move into the dating phase.

Now, while she is very attractive and charming, there must be something wrong with her if she has been married and divorced that many times.  Either she is a poor choice of men or she has some underlying problem.  Or a little of both.  Regardless, the warning bells go off in my head every time that I see her.  I certainly don’t want to be number 6.

In all of the dating web sites, you are required to state just how much to drink and smoke.  But, nothing is listed for gambling.

Well, I suspect that gambling is as much of a problem as drinking is in a relationship.  And, unlike illegal drugs, you can legally loose everything that you have with gambling.

I always ask if prospective dates are interested in going to Vegas.  If they say “no” then they probably don’t have a gambling problem.  If they say “yes”, then they might have a gambling problem.

I guess with gambling and dating it is a crab shoot.

I love slot machines! that is what one woman wrote in her profile.  Well OK.  I think I know why she is divorced.

Whenever I meet a single woman, I have to ask myself  “why she is single?”

Some women that I know have never been married.  They simply are not interested in a commitment like marriage.  So, I guess that they would not be interested in marrying me.  Enough said.

Others are widows.  Widows are nice because their marriage ended do to no fault of their own.  Of course, if their spouse died in his sleep from mysterious causes, that would be a different matter.  But generally, widows, who are still interested in a spouse, are good choices.  After all, they did make their marriage work.

Divorced women are a crap shoot as the reason for the divorce varies vastly.  For some women, their husbands were just not committed to the relationship and left them for another woman.  For others, the woman ran off with another man only to realize their mistake.  And then there are the money issues which are ever looming.  How much debt does she have?  Dare I ask?  Did she, does she have a drinking problem?

Well, the list of possibilities is endless.  But, in the end, you have to decide who is the “Vic” and who is the “Perp” and most of the time, that is not entirely possible.

When you are newly single, you start to think about all of the single women that you know.  And, I know quite a few.  In fact, I quickly made a list of about 3 dozen single women.  Maybe one of these would make a good wife.

But, after the list came the evaluation.  Has she ever been married?  And if so, how many times.  Does she have 20 cats?  Does she only eat uncooked vegetables?  Is she interested in a relationship?

Well, the questions are endless as are the answers.  But more to the point, I eliminated all but 6 from my list..  Well, at least it is a start.