It was only our third date when she announced that she had my “backside”.  By that, she meant that she would be there for me no matter what.

Now, since we were just getting to know each other, I was surprised to hear such a comment.  But, I was still hurting from the loss of my wife and really needed to hear something like that.  She knew that and took advantage of me.

Then, 8 weeks later, she announced that we no longer had future together.  Really?  What happened to my backside?

She was emotionally unstable; a flake!!  The first of many.

Saying “I love you” is a risk.  If the recipient of your affection doesn’t respond likewise, you are left, well, hanging.  And, that silence can be deafening.

But, take heart.  Either she is overwhelmed with your interest or she is not interested in your affection.  Either way, the relationship is becoming more defined for better or for worse.

Once you say “I love you” you are pretty much committed to the relationship and expected to repeat it many many times over.  So, think before you speak because you are taking the relationship to a new level.

One of the first women that I dated lived in Cincinnati, a mere 6 hours away.  Fortunately, I realized that the distance would be a factor, thus, the relationship would not be viable.

But then, I met a woman who lived in Chicago.  I could be to her house in less that 3 hours.  And, she came to Grand Rapids every other weekend to visit her mother, so, it is not like I would be doing all of the driving.

Then, I met a woman who was only 2 hours away.  That seemed even better.  But, after making the trip a few times, that 2 hours got to be old really quick.  And, since there was no in between place to meet, I did all of the driving.

Now, I am dating a woman on the other side of Grand Rapids.  And while I don’t really like the drive, I also realize that there is no one within walking distance of my house, so, I accept the drive and am glad that it is only 30 minutes.

When I first stared dating, I was amazed at the number of women who were married to gay men.  But, after a while, I came to realize that saying your spouse was gay was the perfect excuse for a failed marriage.

After all, if your spouse was gay, there was nothing that you could do to change that orientation.  Thus, you had nothing to do with the failed marriage.  It is as if the marriage never happened.

Unfortunately, the “gay” excuse is all too common so beware of anyone using it.

If you say “I love you” and the feeling is not right or the dynamics are off, those words will sound like a cheap pickup line and nothing more.  And, instead of bring you closer, they will only weaken the relationship.  Timing is everything so be very careful.

At what point in a relationship do you start using “terms of endearment”?  I don’t think that there is a set answer.  It depends on how the relationship is going.  For some couples, it can happen within the first few dates.  While for others, it may never happen.  I guess it depends on how if feels.

One of my dating websites asks the question of how much personal space do you need?  Now, I had never given it much thought as I need very little personal space.  But, I am finding that some women do need personal space and you need to grant that to them.  And, if you don’t allow them that space, they will begin to resent you.

So, if in doubt, ask them questions like “Am I calling too much?”  “Do you need a weekend away from me?”  That way, you can keep the relationship going with out smothering them.

When I date some one that I really like, I want to make sure that they know that I like them.  So, I will make a point in calling them pretty much daily.  However, I realize that daily can be too much for some women, particularly if they have been single for too long.  In fact, too much attention can be suffocating.

So, to avoid too much attention, I ask if it is OK for me to call them on any given day.  With this approach, I can give them attention without suffocating.

I once tried dating two women at the same time.  It was very stressful.  While I had a lot of information about both of them, I just couldn’t remember which facts went with whom.   So, I found my self asking my dates the same questions over and over again.

This proved to be embarrassing as it made me seem like I wasn’t really listening in the first place.  Plus, I didn’t feel like I was being fair to either of them.

So, if you are dating multiple women at the same time,  I would encourage you to give it your best shot and pick one.  Of course, the one that you didn’t pick will drop you like a hot potato and that is understandable.

Life is full of risks, so,  when it comes to dating, give it your best shot and hope for the best.