While compatibility and looks are important, the bigger issue is character.  By that I mean “is this someone you can trust?”  Are his/her values in line with yours?  Is this someone that you would introduce to all of your family and friends without hesitation?  If not, then maybe you need to reflect on where the relationship is headed.

Always look at the Ex and his/hers significant other.  If the Exs relationship with his/hers significant other is not sound, then chances are good that the Ex. may try to reunite with your date.  And, that would leave you, well, feeling very foolish for not recognizing the relationship.

Does your date and the Ex. still confer with one another?  Or more to the point, do they discuss you?  If so, you will never be more than an outsider in their lives because they already have a special bond that you don’t.

It is one thing for your date to say that he/she is friends with their Ex. and quite another to say that they still date.  And by date, I mean that they make a special point of getting together for a social gathering with or without their current spouse.  If this is happening, then RUN!!!

If your date seems to be having problems making an emotional commitment to you, you need to assess the relationship between your date and his/her Ex..  Chances are good that the reason your date can’t commit to you is because your date is still committed to his/her Ex..  If so, you need to cut your losses and move on.  No matter how much you love your date, their heart belongs to someone else.

When ever two people divorce, there is always the chance for a reconciliation.  The duration of the divorce or the reason are not really a factor.  What matters is their feelings for one another.

In short, if there is still a spark between your date and the Ex., then there is still a chance for them to reunite.  This means that you are nothing more than someone to pass away the time until your date can reunite with the Ex.

So, beware of the Ex!!!

If your date has an Ex, it is important to evaluate the relationship between them.  After all, unless they were only married for a short time, there is still an emotional connection to that other person, for better or for worse.

If their relationship is civil but hating each others guts, then the Ex. only has a negative influence on your date.  But, if the Ex is still best friends with your date, then the Ex is a force to be reconciled with.

Unfortunately, your date will never give you an honest answer about their relationship to their Ex.   No one wants to present their Ex in a negative light.  After all, saying negative things about their Ex only presents themselves in a negative light.  Likewise, no one wants to seem giddy about their Ex. as that would imply that they are still in love.

Unless you can observe how the two of them interact face to face, the best that you can do is to pick up on subtle clues.  Do they seem angry at the mention of their Exs name or do they smile?  Do they mention any faults that their Ex has or do they only comment on the positive?

Assessing the Ex is vital to your relationship with you date because, like it or not, the Ex is a player in your relationship.

Unless you are dating someone who is either a widow/widower or never been married, there is an Ex lurking in the background.  And how your date interacts with that Ex is important.

While I am a firm believer in Exs being civil to one another, I also happen to believe that if your date and the Ex are best friends, then there is still an emotional connection between them.  And, that emotional connection is going to be detrimental to any future relationship that the two of you might hope to have.

Compatibility is important in any relationship.  But, since the likelihood of finding someone totally compatible is almost non-existent, the trick is to figure out the areas that are essential and areas that are not.  Once you have that figured out, deciding on a mate will be much easier.

One woman told me that I would never measure up to her physical, mental and emotional standards!  Well OK!!  I will write you off just like you wrote me off.  So, you will never be able to meet my physical, mental and emotional standards.

In short, I don’t date flakes.